My heart is heavy right now. I am reading further in Surprised by the Power of the Spirit and realizing so many of my deficiencies. Praise God!
Jack Deere, the author, is talking about Mary's (as in Mary and Martha) passion for Jesus. Here is what he says: "Mary walked in during the middle of dinner with a pound of pure nard, a perfume worth at least a year's wages. Then she 'wasted' that expensive perfume by pouring it on the feet of Jesus. Next she let down her hair and wiped the feet of the Lord with her hair (John 12:1-3).
This was an extraordinary act. It was also an improper act. Mary interrupted the dinner, she approached a male guest, she let down her hair in the manner of an immoral woman, and she did the work of a slave. What led her to humble herself and transgress the bounds of propriety? What led her to such an extravagant waste?
It was this: she recognized the greatness of Jesus, and she knew that he was worthy of all of the extravagance she could lavish on him. He was worthy of the deepest humiliation she could suffer on his behalf. Mary was driven by a holy passion for the Son of God."
Why don't I have this passion? I think it's because I am so prideful that I can't even see it. Why am I afraid to be extravagant for God? Why am I afraid of humiliation? Pride is an illusion. We don't really have anything to lose unless we aren't truly sold out wholly to God. Jesus, who is completely holy, suffered the greatest humiliation because He loves us. Can't we, out of love, humiliate ourselves for Him? Mary was the one who instead of serving Jesus just wanted to sit at His feet and listen to Him speak. I find that often I am more of a Martha than a Mary. I am so eager to do things for Jesus, but I don't know that I'm that eager just to listen. Maybe it's because by doing things for Jesus, I feel better about myself and can get some sort of recognition or pride out of it. I want to be willing to sit at Jesus' feet out of love and to humiliate myself for Him out of love. I wish that it was just natural, but right now it isn't. Only God truly understands all of our motives and I think He may be showing me just a glimpse of how prideful I am. How can I be more like Mary? I think the answer lies in asking God. I truly hope that He will make me so focused on Him so that I might love Him like Mary.
Now, after all of that, I'm going to go make some pancakes!! Have a blessed day!
5 comments:
Good thoughts. Perception is all important. Certainly Martha's perspective was different from Mary's. Certainly Mary had an advantage over you and I as she was literally in Jesus's physical presence. Scripture tells us that when we encounter the poor and down trodden we meet Christ. We are also told that we may encounter angels unaware. The former is metaphoric mostly, the later not. It is in grasping the metaphor and allowing it to become "real" for us that is challenging. Being willing to humble ourselves before God is often difficult because we are "once removed" from Christ at least from a physical, normal relationship. But, listening to His Word, meditating regularly, and being obedient helps us to over come our temporary state of seperation. Josh, do you think God wants us humiliated before Him? or are we talking about humbling ourselves before him, which to non-believers could be seen as humiliating? There is somewhere in between these two words a difference. How do you see it?
Thank you for your thoughts Bruce. I don't think God wants us truly humiliated. I think He wants us to humble ourselves like Mary did and that might look like humiliation by some standards.
Oooh, by the way. You start out by saying that your "heart is heavy" and end with, "I'm going to make pancakes." Hummm...sounds suspiciously like myself dealing with the stresses of life at the dinner table. Get a little down and "have a cheeseburger." Look out. Someday you'll look like me while you teach a bunch of "lean" spiritually hungry guys. Let's see...Josh at 230 pounds. That would be interesting. Instead of playing Jack Sparrow you could play Jabba the Hut. Ha, ha, ha! One other reminder about heavy hearts..."let not your heart be troubled..."
Paul talks about wanting to know Christ and the fellowship of his suffering. Mary seems to be the only one who really understood beforehand that Jesus was going to die. Was her act that opened her up to public scorn and ridicule a way of fellowshipping with Jesus' sufferings? I've never quite understood exactly what Paul was getting at in that verse, but maybe Mary's actions help interpret it.
Actually, this was an example of saying what was on my heart and having "got it out," I then felt that I could go and eat without a heavy heart.
I think most of this heavy heart was of God. I think it was the feeling of passion and burden that God's Spirit feels. I hope so anyway.
I agree though, it is too easy to worry about things that are already in God's hands (I think we covered this subject thoroughly during Bible study.) I hope to watch out for that.
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